In The Face of Death

When I mention the name Blessed Charles de Foucauld, most people would respond with one question: “Blessed . . . who?” He is not one of the better known holy people and martyrs of the Church, but he happens to be one of my favorite inspirational figures. One of the biggest reasons why I find him inspirational is due to his approach on death.

Foucauld was a spoiled child from a wealthy French family, who was more interested in money and women than he was with anything God-related. You can read more about his conversion story, but, to keep it short, he eventually realized the emptiness of the lifestyle he was living and joined the Cistercian Trappist Order. As I was reading a short biography on his life, there was one anecdote in it that I will never forget. On one of his assignments at a monastery, many of the brothers there were becoming sick with the flu and dying. Though common intuition would suggest the best course of action would be to get away from the sick people to avoid contracting the sickness, Foucauld stayed and tended to his brothers. Many of his companions did the same and ended up catching the flu and dying from it as well, but Foucauld was spared. As he was reflecting on this miracle in his journal, he soon came to the conclusion that “survival was a sign of unworthiness.”

While I was reading this story, my eyes stopped on those six words.

Now one reaction might be: “What? Does he want to die? How can someone deemed so holy by the Church, be so seemingly suicidal in his thoughts?” The author writing Foucauld’s biography even acknowledged that his extreme approach on death is hard to come by even in devout leaders and scholars of the Church. So, what was Foucauld really thinking when he called survival “a sign of unworthiness?”

Now, before we answer that question, let’s take a step back. How do we view death today in our modern society? One of my favorite places to look is pop culture. Go watch any action movie today and you will find a basic trend: death is associated with ‘losing’ and life is associated with ‘winning.’ What I mean by that is, when we watch a movie like Indiana Jones, the person who comes out victorious lives to fight another day while the defeated antagonist ends up on his death bed. (Of course, there are exceptions to this trend in movies but the sentiments on life and death are still relatively consistent) If we look in the Bible and see how people responded to Jesus’s death, they were disappointed. They believed they had found the Messiah who would overthrow the Romans and reestablish Israel as a world power, but when he died, many thought that all was lost or that he was not the Messiah after all. Someone as great as the Messiah could not lose, and die, in their minds. And what about the common saying: “you only live once.” Do we really live just one life here on Earth?

All these things in our modern culture tell us one thing: life here on Earth is all that we have and, because of that, death is an evil thing because it takes away everything. Death is something everyone wants to avoid because who knows what’s really out there after death? Will we still have our houses, our families, our BMWs, or our friends? This life is all we really know, so we have to cling to it with all our strength. And if you end up dying (and everyone eventually does) you’ve lost everything and everyone you’ve known. This is what our culture tells us.

Now let’s go back to Foucauld’s words: “survival was a sign of unworthiness.” What do these words mean in the context of our culture today?

First of all, they establish that the life we live here on Earth is temporal. We do not spend all eternity here on Earth; we spend eternity (hopefully) in heaven. Now, this is not a foreign idea to any Catholic, or to the average person, for that matter. We all know about heaven and hell and how we only have a limited time here on Earth before we pass away. We know this, but most people do not believe this. If we truly believed this teaching, I think there would be millions of Catholics living their lives in a much different manner than they are right now, myself included. What does it really mean to say that all the things of this world—houses, cars, education, facebook, clothing, money—are all things of this temporal world? If some people claim to believe in life after death, why do they cling to money as if their life depended on it? If we claim to believe in life after death, why do some of us stress over grades as if our entire livelihood depended upon them? If we actually believed in life after death, would we be as afraid to give our life for another or for God’s Church? Even Jesus agonized in the garden of Gethsemane over his pending crucifixion, but He was not afraid to die. The belief in life after death is an immensely powerful one that many take for granted until they come face-to-face with death itself.

Second, notice how Foucauld almost seems to refer to death as a reward and survival as the work required to achieve that reward. With this in mind, his words remind us that death is not only natural but also the only way in which we are able to come face-to-face with God Himself in heaven and bask in His glory. Essentially, he is saying: “Death is not that bad! In fact, it’s only through death that you can come into full communion with God Himself in heaven!” And for this, we need only look at Jesus Himself. When He carried his cross up to Calvary, was crucified, and finally took his last breath, I believe that last breath was heavy with pain, but not with sorrow, for He was going back to the Father in heaven. Jesus leads the way for us in facing death. Yes, death is scary because we don’t have anything concrete to hold onto when we go through it. We don’t know what will happen to us ‘on the other side,’ but we need only to look at Jesus, who looked at death in the face, and overcame it, redeeming all of us. He went through everything we will go through; we need only follow in His footsteps.

The last message Foucauld conveys with his words is that we cannot take our existence here on Earth for granted. By living and breathing, we each have a calling in this world to fulfill certain roles, take up different leadership positions, and do God’s will in the unique way God calls each of us to do it. In saying “survival was a sign of unworthiness,” Foucauld was stating that he needed to do more before God would decide that he had fulfilled his calling. He had more to do before God would allow death to come upon him. The interesting thing is that Foucauld was not afraid of death interrupting the events of life on this world because he knew he was living the life God was calling him to live. He knew he was where God wanted him to be, which allowed him to be acutely aware of when God would eventually tell him “you’ve done enough” and allow him to go to heaven. But, comparing that attitude to the average person, how many of us know, deep down in our hearts, that we are in the place that God has called us to be? God only gives us a certain amount of time on this Earth to do what He calls us to do, so why would we waste our time dwelling on things that do not further our calling? Many people go through life called to greatness by God, but fail to recognize or completely ignore God’s pleas to listen and follow. We have to make the most of the limited time God gives us on Earth.

After reading about Foucauld’s perspective on death, one of the first thoughts that popped into my mind was how many times we, as Catholics, pray out loud a prayer along the lines of: “Dear Lord, please protect those who are not here and keep them safe.” Now, at face value, this prayer is genuine and good. There is nothing wrong with praying these words because they convey compassion and love for our family and friends. However, I think the danger to praying these words is that we fail to acknowledge the ultimate reality of death that Foucauld discussed. Yes, we want our loved ones to be safe and be kept out of harms’ way BUT, if death comes upon them, does that mean that God does not answer our prayers or that those loved ones did something wrong? Foucauld and other saints would respond with a resounding NO. Death is not punishment. Death is not inherently bad. Death is not the end. What death actually is, is God’s way of calling us back to Himself. On his last breaths, Jesus said,

“Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.” (Luke 23:46)

In the same way, we are called to offer up ourselves when we die, for God loves us and wants us to be with Him forever.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life.” (John 3:16)

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Principles of Chastity

Chastity. We have all heard of it before. It can best be summed up as ‘being sexually pure.’ However, if you tell that to most people, it often times goes over their heads perhaps due to its counter-intuitive wording or its vagueness, so I would like to fill out its definition a little more. I know chastity is one of the seven virtues, but based on my experiences I would call chastity a lifestyle. By lifestyle, I mean that when one wants to live chastely, the virtue of chastity permeates every faucet of his life, affecting how he acts, how he thinks, and even how he dresses. Chastity is not some golden standard we Christians try to reach; it is an integral part of how we should live our lives.

First off, let’s talk about the overarching goal of chastity. What’s the reward? I mean, we would not want to invest so much time into school, homework, and tests unless we knew we would be rewarded with discovering new passions and hopefully attaining a decent paying job. Chastity is not easy, and, especially with society telling us that masturbation, pornography, and objectifying others are all good, healthy, normal things, it is easy to lose sight of the importance of chastity in the first place. Now, is chastity a virtue of “no’s?” Well, in some ways, yes it is. It means saying no to sexual gratification in all its forms, but that’s hardly a fraction of what it really means. In reality, chastity is a deep and profound YES.

Now hold up, this may seem completely counterintuitive, so let me explain. In Genesis, God created man and woman, he created us as sexual beings. This means that sex and our sexuality is inherently good because God Himself made us that way. But He didn’t just make us sexual beings and leave it at that. By creating us as sexual beings, he issued a calling for each and every one of us to use our sexuality for the greater glory of God, basically to use our sexuality in a manner proper for our calling. For married people, that means being loyal to their spouses. For single people, that means living a life of abstinence in anticipation for marriage. For religious and priests, that means living celibately. This is where we come to the virtue of chastity because amongst all of these pathways comes an underlying foundation in which we must acknowledge that each person deserves to be treated with dignity and that our sexuality is God-given and must be used according to His will. What this all means is that being chaste is what God calls us to be, and with that comes amazing rewards that we cannot even imagine.

But let’s get more practical, if we want to be chaste, where do we start? Perhaps one of the most important things to realize about chastity is that it is rooted in discipline. What is discipline? Well, we can begin by saying that it is something that nearly all people struggle with. The reason why is because discipline focuses on the nitty-gritty efforts of everyday living. Discipline is not about getting an A in a class, it is about putting in the effort every day to study and do the homework for a good grade. Discipline is not about losing those pounds we don’t want to look a certain way, it is about pushing ourselves to exercise three, four, or five times a week to meet goals for our physique. It is not about establishing a solid prayer life; it is about having the willpower to pray every day, even when we are tired or busy. Discipline is the means through which we accomplish goals by having the perseverance to work toward those goals every day. It is also the means through which we stay chaste. Those who take a few days to focus on being a little more observant of their thoughts and actions will know what I mean because moments of lust can come at us in a heartbeat. All it takes is one person, one image, or one thought for us to fall into the temptation to lust, and this happens every day. Chastity is not one battle that is fought and won; it is a lifelong struggle we must fight every day of our lives.

The idea of being a little more observant of our thoughts and actions leads me into a second key piece of chastity: self-awareness. The reality is that our sexuality is ubiquitous; it is everywhere. It affects how we talk, how we act, how we dress. It is embedded into our everyday living, which is natural and good. What chastity forces us to do, though, is to not be completely ignorant of it. Chastity compels us to be aware of our sexuality when it comes to lust. Sometimes it is a certain person, a certain image, a certain situation, or (heck, let’s be honest) a certain body part that sets off lustful thoughts or actions. It is part of our calling, to recognize those moments where we fall, to acknowledge that we are weak in those moments, and to avoid those moments as best we can. This is what we call avoiding the near occasion of sin.

Now, trying to avoid those moments where we lust requires another key component called self-control. We have to be able to master our own passions and not be subject to them. We do the same thing when we exercise and choose to not give into the pains of our bodies and, instead, press on toward our goals. We have to remember that our passions and our sexuality are inherently good, but they need to be used in a proper manner. Even though we can be tempted to give into those passions, doing so is not liberating. This is a message that you hear all the time: “JUST DO IT!” However, by giving into our passions, we are not set free by them, we are enslaved by them. Drawing from my own personal experiences and the experiences of my friends, when we talk about masturbation and pornography, those types of things trap and ensnare the soul. What often results is a feeling of self-loathing because of the weakness and shame associated with the fact that the temptation to masturbate or look at pornography has complete control and cannot be resisted. There is no self-control. There is no sense of inner strength to combat the whims of passion. All that exists is weakness, shame, and an unfulfilled desire for something more. Perhaps a good analogy is receiving an A on a test you cheated on. Sure, it will feel good at first to have the A, but, afterward, what lasts longer is the sense of emptiness from circumventing the true purpose of the class and not living up to the expectations others have for you.

The last critical aspect of chastity I will talk about is the virtue of fortitude, which basically means “toughness” both in an internal and external way. Fortitude is perhaps the most important virtue needed for chastity because not only is it counter-cultural, but it seems to “go against the grain” of our own sexuality. God gave us hormones and sexual desires, but oftentimes when we think about chastity, it just seems to go against what we really feel. That is one of the reasons why lust, objectification, and sexual gratification are so pervasive because people think those things just ‘feel’ like they go with their sexuality. However, lust, objectification, and sexual gratification do not coincidence with our sexuality because, just like we talked about earlier, our sexuality is made for something greater. But, in those moments, when we are most desperate and temptation feels like it is about to take over and translate into sin, is when the virtue of fortitude comes in. Fortitude allows us to have the strength to overcome any type of temptation that arises, through what I can only describe as a persistent stubbornness to follow the will of God no matter what.

Now for the big question, why am I even talking about chastity at all? Well, from what I have experienced, there is not any other place where the virtue of chastity will be as useful as in college. In high school, relationships are common, but their level of physical activity is more subdued because of adult supervision in school, the presence of parents at home, and the general ‘minor’ legal status. In college there is no adult presence to limit physical activity because the students are adults themselves, unleashing a waves of sexual activity, objectification, and self-seeking pleasure. The widespread presence of alcohol and drugs only seek to magnify these issues. After my first few weeks, I realized what a dark place college is for sexual morality. The idea of chastity had never felt so foreign to my environment before. This is the reality of the college environment, and the more practiced you are in the lifestyle of chastity through discipline, self-awareness, self-control, and fortitude the easier transition you will have, to not only stay chaste in college but be an example for others to follow.

This is what God calls us to do: to be a light for others in the midst of darkness. How is God calling you to be that light for others?

“I, the Lord, have called you for the victory of justice, I have grasped you by the hand; I formed you, and set you as a covenant of the people, a light for nations.” (Is 42:6)

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